Hi… I know that you will never actually read this letter and this is not my aim here. It’s just that yesterday I realized I will never be beside you any more. I will never kiss the lips that I love so much, I’ll never caress your hair as I used to. Yes, my whole world collapsed yesterday. Because my whole world was you…… I can’t…, oh God, I still can’t accept the thought that you won’t be next to me. I know that I made mistakes. I did awfully many foolish things. I shouldn’t have gone away. I shouldn’t have left you – the man of my life, just when I’ve found you. I wanted to earn that money, so that it would be easier…or I thought it would be…..If I had known then how wrong I was, if I had realized that money wasn’t everything. Money can’t make me happy when you are not beside me. I lost you….I just can’t believe that you are no longer part of my life, that you are no longer “my man”, that we won’t stick the so dreamt “baby factory” on the bedroom door. You know…this time I was determined to stop. I had decided for sure to come back and start leading a life in my own country and I wanted to make it with you. When I planned on returning I told everybody that I’m trying to get back the “man of my life” ….but it wasn’t that simple. I couln’t understand you before, now you can’t understand me. You couldn’t understand that I wanted to abandon everything that I had just to be with you. I was ready to leave my friends, the life in my town, the great job that I will never have again – nothing interested me more than being with you. You told me that you weren’t ready, not at that moment. But you were before. Why the hell didn’t you just tell me that you don’t love me as you used to, that you are afraid to run the risk of being with me again, that I don’t have the right to rush into your life every time that the impulse takes me. Or that you are already tired of us playing cat and dog…..although you still love me. I know it because I saw it in your eyes. They always give you away. You know, what hurt me the most was that you didn’t have the courage to tell me that you are afraid and it’s easier to lead your apathetic life hiding behind work. Or you no longer love me, or at least not as much as before. I would have understood. We are grown up people after all…. I will always love you but I’ll never let you in my life again. I don’t know how I’ll live without you…..I’m going to learn this from now on. I wish you all the happiness with her. I hope she can give you at least half of what I gave you. Although, no one will love you the way I did. As trivial as it may sound. I thank you, you who read this. I just wanted to unburden my heart somewhere nobody will recognize me. I want to give you a piece of advice, the one that my father kept telling me for a long time:”It’s better to learn from the mistakes of others, not from your own.” Do not kill your love! Do not think that you can change it for money, shiny cars, or companies that are more important than your own life. Never leave the person you love, never betray him/her, fight for his/her love. LOVE IS EVERYTHING PEOPLE! PLEASE DON’T LOOSE IT!!! FIGHT TOOTH AND NAIL, BUT NEVER LOOSE IT!
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